my poetry ~ persistence of pain

all of the times i've broken down and couldn't maintain
and the things that bother me of which i complain
the pain i feel when i look into a hurt person's eyes
heartbreak i experience when i can't get compromise

hearing the truth when it isn't what i want to hear
knowing the path, yet it is still so unclear
trying to feel positive when everything is negative
being used and abused because im too willing to give

waiting for things i fear ill never be able to see
living as a slave when the dream is to be free
looking for the meaning whether or not it is there
the shoes i have on surely nobody would wear

reaching a goal only to find out im still far away
always something to struggle with in every day
stress that builds up until i fall apart
dont know if im capable of filling my heart

serving my life time and again
left with nothing and nowhere to begin
wanting the things i know i cant aquire
reaching for the elusive feeling of admire

outstretched are my arms, my hands remain empty
ive been here all along yet does anyone truly see
for on the outside i may be smiling
but on inside however i feel i am dying

i must keep reminding myself everything will be fine
but i always know that i am fighting with time
it's never enough, and life is too short
however painful this mission i cannot abort

because there is a reason, a purpose for me
but exactly what it is will i live long enough to see?

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